Sadie Marie is Walking!!!

Well, well it's been a while..... I have been so wrapped up in working lately all I want to do to is relax when I'm not chasing my little heathen around the house. When I say chasing I mean chasing. She started walking lilterally about five minutes ago and then was clearly exhausted from all the exertion she needed a nap. Perfect time for me to blog about it.

Shut the front door. Here's the video of my child's first steps.

Oh and PS we got the most fantastic new camera in which to record all these freaking awesome ass moments. I can't believe we actually got her FIRST steps on video. She had been hinting at it all day today but we decided to try to tempt her with wipes and it worked!

As if WALKING is not enough in itself for a blog post, we have had lots going on since the list time I posted. Easter, birthday parties, and poop. There's always a good poop story.

Easter was a good time, Cici came to town and then promptly got bronchitis and a sinus infection when the returned to the SEL. Juju and John Rob also came down so the only thing missing was Big Daddy, stupid Hammermill would not let him off. In any case, we of course took lots of pictures and it's been so long ago I can't even remember the funny shit that went on aside from the fact that Sadie Marie was terrifed of John Robert. It's funny actually that she used to LOVE playing with him but since the newlyweds moved out she doesn't see him as much and she was NOT interested in him on Easter.  She has started showing this aversion to men altogether so it's not just John Robert. We even tried puffs to get her to warm up.......

And more food.........

Easter was good times, we went to church and then to our FAV Outback for lunch. We took some really good pictures too. I mean the camera is seriously awesome.

We have found the most fantastic church and this was outside after church.

So, the weekend after Easter we went to Sadie Marie's first birthday party. It was hilarious. She was most entertained with the balloons. However, I will say she was also quite entertained by the kiddies there as well. I have seem some shit in my day but holy canoli this was some hilarious stuff. I have seen some heathens in my day but SHIV. Lets just say the presents survived (barely) but the couch did not. I personally thought it was absolutely hiliarious, the owner of the couch probably not so much. Crayons come out right?

Moving on, things have really started to pick up for me at work as we move within 60 days of the commencement I plan every year and even though I work from home four days a week, now it just means I will work LONGER days. It sucks but in the end I love my job and it's worth it. It really sucks because I won't give up time with Sadie Marie so that means sleep is what get axed. I can deal with it.....nothing a cup or five of coffee can't fix. I never thought I would love coffee as much as I do now but SHIV. I don't know where we would be today without it.

That being said, the baby daddy has really been helping and thus has been bathing and putting Sadie Marie to bed a lot more for me. I guess I had gone to the grocery store last weekend and when I came back Sadie Marie's clothes had been changed........I did a double take and all he had to say was poop. I started laughing, he was NOT even smiling. Here's what went down:

I leave.

Sadie Marie has and explosive doodoo.

The baby daddy waits too long to change her, thinking he's waiting to be sure she's done pooping as she is notorious for pooping, letting you change her diaper, and then immediately pooping some more, but this time she was done and it was kinda runny.

The baby daddy goes to change her and get a BIG surprise. Not only is it coming out the sides of her diaper it's traveled all the way out the back side too. I have no idea what ensued but she ended up in the bathtub and her sleeper was in the kitchen sink. Thanks buddy. AT LEAST he got the dooty off the baby I guess.

It seems as though Juju is a mess magnet. Everytime Sadie Marie is with her poor Juju either gets spit up on or pooped on and I think she got both at Easter. Sadie Marie has FINALLY stopped spitting up and thus NO MORE BIBS. Ugh, thank goodness. I swear I smelled like hot sick vomit for nine full months but now she's a big girl. Well, maybe she just gets excited when Juju comes over because she promptly spit up on her and then later that weekend we kept thinking we smelled doodoo but Sadie Marie was just farting.........ALOT. Juju would reach to peak in the diaper and I warned her that it was dangerous........I was in the kitchen and I hear Oh My God, Oh My God, take her take her......I stuck my finger in it.....ahhhhhhh......I can't remember the last time something was funny enough to make me cry but seeing Juju run from the kitchen to the bathroom trying to find the "correct" place to wash doodoo off her hands was PRICELESS.

Sadie Marie turns 11 months old next week and I can't believe she started walking today. It's insaneness. OMG I really have to baby proof this crap now. I put the thingys on the cabinet doors and it was absolutely pointless. She can still open then.......the crack is just enough for her to lean around, look in, spy what she wants, and reach her stubby little arm in. She's too damn smart for her own good. I need to get some baby gates so we can contain the little tornado.

We are also taking a trip next week. We are going to take Sadie Marie to Iowa to meet the rest of her family. I'm pretty excited we get to spend two days in Chicago then off to the corn state. It's supposed to be warm. It better be. I HATE the cold, it's one of the main reasons we left Iowa. EFF all that snow. It should be entertaining though and I will be sure to fill y'all in on this road trip. That's right, we are driving. I had a plane ticket but it was going to be harder to fly than drive this time so I can't wait to see what I have to do to entertain the little nugget for 16 hours on our way to Chi-town.

OK, I'm going to take a nap.

April

Spring is in the Air....Poop is in the Tub?

Well well, after all my belly aching about winter, yesterday was the first day of Spring and I'm loving it! Although as you were previously warned, I also love to belly ache about the heat and if the temperatures in Spring are any indication of how hot the summer is going to be well then it's going to be sizzling. I feel espeically bad for my pregnant friends who will have to endure at much warmer than ususal spring, three long HOT summer months, and what will probably be a warm fall. I'm pumped for the pool to open though, I got Sadie Marie some 55 sunblock and I'm going to purchase one of those baby swimsuits with build in floaties. I can't wait to see how protective the baby daddy is in the pool, he barely takes his hands off at home....she may never walk. :)

Anyway, we have had some shananigans going on so I will share them!

I'm all about routines, unless I feel like a deviation is necessary and the I could care less but we do have our nightly routine that traditionally goes like so:

7 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. - Dinner prepared and fed to the little monster by Me
7:30 p.m. - 8 p.m. - Bathtime, prepared and performed by Me
8 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. - Bedtime, prepared and performed by the Baby Daddy

He informed me he didn't like to bathe Sadie Marie.....I wonder why, perhaps because while she LOVES to play in the bathtub, she HATES to actually get bathed up and LOATHES to get dried off and dressed for bed. Awesome, I'll take it though one out of three ain't bad and at least he's being a team player right?

So as we are playing in the bathtub on Monday night I turned my head for what felt like a split second to shoo Bailey from the bathroom and when I turned around there it was........I was almost elbow deep in doodoo water. Green doodoo water. I shrieked for the baby daddy to come running, whatever he was doing it was not fast enough, I snatched Sadie Marie out of her little tub of horrors and just held her dangling like a fish on a hook because I couldn't hold her, unstopo the tub and rinse her off but I couldn't sit her down on the floor she was all wet, so I just stood there waiting on the baby daddy to stroll on in like a Sunday afternoon and when he finally did arrive I got her handed off, drained the tub and then I heard it. SQUIRTSHSHSHSHSH. Green liquid dooty all over my bath mat all down her legs and feet. Awesome. The baby daddy starts telling me to hurry, to clean her up and move everything to the other bathroom and I'm like why? She's already defaced this tub and bathmat, lets keep the hazmat area contained at least until she's finished......so we wait about 2 minutes, decide she's done, and move to the other bathroom where there is now ZERO hot water left for a bath. I guess I need a 1000 gallon hot water heater, after two showers and a bath ours was spent.

So I proceeded to bathe the nugget in 2 inches of luke warm water, that she clearly did not love based on her constant screaming, and proceeded to ask her not to poop in this water or on me while we got dressed. After THREE good gos (yeah, she got the bath mat twice), I guess she was all pooped out, LITERALLY, because there was no more poop for the evening. In her defense, she has not pooped in the tub for what feels like years, but because she's only 10 months old, I guess it's been like 7 months. She is also taking antibiotics for her ear infection and I know that has her tummy upset, it's just hard to remember sometimes she's even sick she so stinking happy most of the time.

The rest of this week has been rather entertaining.....I'm not sure if she's figured out that she can use her tongue to spit her food at me OR if she's just not that hungry. It had me worried for a hot minute, then she started eating again, then spitting, then eating.....you get the idea. I think she thinks it fun. I do not love it.

The other night we are all eating supper and Sadie Marie has squash and pears. She LOVES squash and pears and now that she is getting bigger and has some teeth she's not eating purees, it's all chopped up so she can gum it and I guess the textures are a little off. I jammed a big spoon full of squash in her wide open bird mouth and it came flying back out of there like a torpedo. I was a little taken aback, please understand my child has NEVER spit food out.....EVER. In fact, I'm pretty sure she secretly hoards it in her cheeks so this was funny at first. I thought maybe she didn't like the texture of the squash cut up rather than pureed, so we tried again and no dice. She was vehemently pushing food out of her mouth and then playing with it between her little vienna sausage fingers, so I tried some of the pears and of course she devoured that it was her last meal. I tried the squash again and torpedo. I was quite dismayed, I have never had to be tricky or resourceful when it came to feeding Sadie Marie, she has always been such an easy baby to feed, but I'm smart and she's a baby so I thought well, I'll fix this and mixed the squash in with the pears and TORPEDO. She spit it all out...she eventually ate some of it mixed together but I ended up just ending supper. I refuse to let her win, if she won't eat, supper is over before you judge please be aware she ate all her pears and chicken and destroyed her bottle, so it's not like I sent her to bed without any supper.

Not to be defeated, I tried the squash again last night and BOOM, my little nugget was back. She devoured all her food so maybe she just needed to get used to the texture, maybe she was not feeling, but well either way, I win. :) She will eat as healthy as possibly as long as possible. I don't want her to end up like me, picky as all get out and not a veggie fan. I am trying to retrain my brain as Sadie Marie tries new foods so that I can be a healthy mommy who she can see eating the veggies. I'm a total hypocrite and I will make her eat them if I won't but I don't want to be that way so it's still a work in progress. This week my new veggie is cauliflower.......steamed and smothered in cheese sauce. I gotta start our easy here folks, plus weight watchers said I could eat it that way. I have already added steamed broccoli and parsnips to my food vocabulary and I'm pretty proud we are adding all these veggies to our lives. Makes me feel better about myself. If I'm always going to be a little bit fat at least I will be healthy. Maybe it will be easier now that I have officially stopped breastfeeding and pumping completely since I won't have the appetite of a Tyranasauraus Rex. :)

Are you all shocked and dismayed? I stopped pumping at 10 months. I just wasn't producing enough milk to keep putting myself through the stress of pumping every 4 hours only to get an ounce or two, so then I went to every 8 hours and would only get about 4 ounces, then it was every 12 hours for 4 ounces and then sometimes it was every 12 for nothing. 10 months is as good as 12 to me so even though I didn't WANT to quite my body had other ideas. I know part of the reason my supply went down was because I wasn't physically nursing anymore, I could have continued nursing twice a day, I know a year would have been easy but I had to weigh my options.....just how important were my nipples to me? Pretty darn important and so I decided to stop nursing about a month ago when Sadie M got her first tooth and BIT me hard enough to draw blood.

I will say I had way more milk saved up than I thought, I have been slowly decreasing the amount of breastmilk she's getting and adding formula and it's been fine, so all's well that ends well. I'm a little nostalgic though, it's kinda sad to think that this part of my life has come to an end for now. It was such a big part of my life and routine for the past 10 months and it an end I didn't really want but onward and upward. I have a very healthly happy little girl so I'm not going to let something this silly ruin my day or hers :) It's not worth the stress that was mounting over not producing enough and now that I'm done and at one with it, I feel liberated!

Summer, Summer, Summertime, Time to sit back and unwind.......Thanks Will Smith. You rock.

Here are some new pictures of the nugget.

Y'all be good,


April

Lazy Sunday Afternoon! She sleeps like her Daddy!

I got a second tooth, but I am NOT showing you!

I sit like a lady when bathing!

I have ear infections but you would never know it!

Bjheebus - Is is Winter or Summer?

I HATE the winter, I hate it with every ounce of my being with it's snow, cold rain, short days, lack of sunshine, and dead foliage, I often contemplate if the summer will return so I can complain about the heat. So while nothing monumental has been going on, lots has been going on. For one thing we have decided to outsource a number of chores around the Casa de la Airhart and that makes me happy. I don't have to clean and the baby daddy doesn't have to cut grass. While I know you are all thinking we are lazy assholes, I assure that you are correct. We are lazy assholes on the weekends and since this is the only time we have to do these chores I decided the Cleaning Authority was a better option. Plus, who wants do to chores with I have the nugget to play with, especially since this crazy ass weather is making my spring fever itch like monkey butt.

Even though I loathe the winter, I was especially anxious this year because I had a new baby who I was sure would be sick at some point and I had a little glimpse of that in September after her 4 month shots.......

I was not looking forward to a winter wonderland of snot and crying, but alas I braced for the worst and hoped for the best and I have to admit we were lucky, very lucky. I attribute it to breastfeeding I have been squeezing those things dry 3-4 times a day for almost 10 months and I really think that is what saved us. Who knows what in it but if I were smart I would pump forever and sell the stuff, but I'm selfish and I really want to wear a regular bra again already, one with under wire and one without easy access flaps so I'm seriously contemplating a cease fire for my battle with breastfeeding. I have been battling inside myself contemplating this decision for the past few weeks while I have been doing nothing but pumping (since Sadie M got a tooth and started treating me like a chew toy) and I have to tell you it has not been awesome, I barely get 10 ounces a day now and even with the supplementing I'm doing I'm not replacing what I'm using. I'm going to try to finish out the month of March and then start weening completely. Sadie Marie loves her solids so much anyway she barely even pays attention to her bottle so I'm going to stop beating myself up over and move on. Ten months is as good as 12. Whew for some reason I feel so much better now that the decision has been made. Thanks Juju for talking it through with me!

I can feel the summer coming and I'm getting excited for all the things that means. First, Sadie Marie will turn one on May 24, 2012 and as a professional event planner I already have half the party planned, moonbounce booked, outfits ordered, and an invitation to the loony bin from the baby daddy. He thinks I'm insane but really Airhart!?! You only turn one once and let's get real this party is as much for me as it is for her! He continues to remind me she won't remember it but he does not know he's getting a daddy cam and can video the entire event so we can relive it on her 16th birthday. Ah the memories........

Second, I'm going the homeland for a nice long visit and a trip to the beach over the July 4, so that also means I will be there for my birthday! We gonna be at the beach and now that I have adamantly decided to stop breastfeeding I am going to really start working on my beach body which means I will really have to start running again. I hate getting back in shape, but I will LOVE myself once I'm there. Baby steps.

Third, the baby daddy has decided he wants to go to a NASCAR race this year in Richmond so I'm saving it for the September race. I'm so pumped, I never thought that sweet boy from Iowa would want to go drink beer and hang out with rednecks as much as he does but I love him for it. Richmond here we come!

So as you can see, we have a jammed packed summer ahead of us and I can't wait for all the travel. I'm so ready to take Sadie Marie to many of the places I have already been and to many of the new places we plan to go. Some folks don't like traveling with little ones but I look at it as an adventure. You can't stop your life because you have a baby and why should you, they want to live too! I also have to get stories for my blog somewhere and what better place than an 12 hour road trip to Alabama with a one year old, the baby daddy, and two dogs in tow?

Switching gears a bit......

So Sadie Marie got her first real "ouch" today at daycare. She's got a black eye, well not really but she has a mark and it's swollen......I walked in and she was like, "but mom you should have been the other guy,"

The evil toddler chair. That's right, my little nugget got beat up by a chair! Susan said she didn't cry which I believe because she's tough, but I still felt bad for her, it was swollen and everything! What can you do, she gets fantastic care at daycare so as the French would says, kids will be kids and that means getting their hands dirty.....or in this case black eye by toddler chair.

My mom was here over the past weekend and since my Grandmother turns 84 on March 19 so we had a little birthday party at Juju's house on Saturday and Cunnie decided it was time to intro Sadie Marie to CAKE.....and ICE CREAM. Did I mention their was frosting involved? She looked exactly like a kid with cake.......eyes glazed over as they basked in the beauty of frosting and cake batter ice cream.....and of course a chocolate frosting mustache.



While the past weeks have been pretty calm it has given me the opportunity to reflect on our lives over the past year and even though I'm still waiting on my breastfeeding girl scout badge I'm pretty proud of where we are. I returned to my job 7 months ago and I'm finally not feeling like a retard most days. it's take efficiency and excessive organization to do what I do and the difference is now I really have to WORK at my work. I thought I used to make lists to remember things, I had no idea what it meant to be organized before. I have a list for EVERYTHING. If I don't write it down the minute I think it, you can forget about it. This thing they call mommy brain is something different for me, my brain didn't get stupid.....it was awakened with Sadie Marie's birth and I just added something so much more important than work to my life that my brain just subconsciously chooses to focus on that more than work. I now have to work to be good at my work, which is something I'm not used to. I used to go in and BOOM, I could do my job with my eyes closed and I did it well. I feel like I'm getting back to that place.....SLOWLY......but in the meantime it has given me a HUGE appreciation for working mom, especially some of the ladies I work with who have more employees that I do and who have some serious stress that comes with their positions. In the same turn I'm glad I'm not them. I know my  team will grow over the years but hopefully by that time I will have a handle on this mom thing too and I can grow as a mom and as a manager.

Today we had another first, Sadie Marie is finally tall enough to walk in the walker and she LOVES it. Below is a video of her maiden voyage. (Well I couldn't get the video to load, but its on Facebook you can view it there!)

Sadie Marie's turned nine months old as well! Below are her pictures.

Clearly annoyed I dressed her up in yet another tutu.....save it Sadie M, tutus are a part of your life until your at least 10 years old.

This was last night while I was getting her supper ready. The baby daddy had gone to pick up our supper and unfortunately I don't have 4 arms so the poor child had to be put down for 5 minutes. I can already see where this is going. Poor mom and dad.

Y'all be good,

April

Hello from the Pink Eye House

So, after nine months we finally have our first sickness complete with a cold, ear infection, and pink eye. If things come in threes, then we are the empitome of that saying plus one. Did I also mention she got her first tooth! Bjheebus.(Thanks JuJu for my new favorite word!) As if the eye drops for pink eye are not bad enough, I then have to suction her nose, and put vaseline on her lips becase it split whilst in the middle of a scream fest at the doctors office on Tuesday.  I must say other than the giving of the meds, I have one of the best sleeping, and teething, babies ever. Seriously is this the face you would expect after the above description?

The past few weeks have just flown by. I have gotten serious about losing the rest of this BABY weight. I swear I looked better three weeks after giving birth than I do today almost 9 months later. Where did those months go? Sweet Baby Jesus, they went straight to my spare tire. Spending 5 weeks in Alabama over the summer was not kind to my midsection, even with working out, there no way I could turn down all that food.

So now, NINE months later I'm struggling to really get back in gear counting calories and working out hard......I have the wonderful ability to work from home four days a week, so rather than work out after work I have been getting up at 5 AM to work out at home before I start work at 7. I HATE JILLIAN MICHAELS. I can tell you that while I love working out, I do not love it at 5 AM. I get a 20 minute run in, then Jillian Michaels and her manself screams at me for the next 30 minutes. You would think the weight would be falling off since I'm still breastfeeding (we will get to that in a minute), but alas it is not. I'm seriously glad I only go into the office one day a week because them folks like to eat out.

So, now that I have shared my mission to lose 30...yes the 30 lingering lbs of the 60 I gained I fully expect everyone who reads this to hold me accountable not matter how mean I am to you about it. Let's face it, we both know I'm going to be mean. I hate dieting. Meagan I think we need to have some bitch sessions....aren't you angry too or are you off the wagon? How them new shoes doing?

On to the joys of breastfeeding.......Seriously it was joyful for about the first 4 months until my little nugget got used to being able to bite her bottle and then decided she could also bite me. W.....T.....F......that shit hurts and now with a tooth......let's just say she is clearly ready for a cheeseburger because that little 19 pound midget might as well be a great white. She made me BLEED the other night. It was like the minute I noticed her tooth she decided to put it to good use and while I still plan to go a year (I mean shit, I made it nine months and I'm no quitter) at what price? If I lose a nipple, I wonder if my insurance will pay to have it reattached? Please note, I do not find breastfeeding joyful anymore, it has it's moments, but for the most part the last few days I've been holding my breath each time she nurses praying I go with in with two and come out with two. Also, I do believe it's the reason she has not been very sick. She has been one of the least sick babies of all my friends and she is also one of the few still being breastfed.........you do the math.

Over the past few weeks I have been reading "Bringing Up Bebe" a book by Pamela Druckerman who discusses, in great detail, the differences between American parenting and French parenting. I picked the book up thinking it was going to be funny tales of these differences but what I got was a well written and throughly reserached book. I seriously wanted to take notes while I was reading as if there was going to be a test later.

Druckerman is an American who married a Brit, and they live in France. WTF...., but that is besides the point. While I am NOT a fan of the French, and let's get real who is, I was curious about this book and I must say, I fully plan to use some of these methods on Sadie Marie. I didn't continue reading it to get a new way of parenting, I tend to read things, adopt the things I like or see value in, and then completely discredit and mock the rest because after one child we all know I'm an expert.

For example, the French have this thing they call the Pause......where they don't immeidately pick up their children the moment they start crying, they give them 5-10 minutes to try to self soothe or to get distracted and play by themselves. I'm already trying to do this more. Sadie Marie fully expects to be picked up every time she starts crying and if she goes more than 5 minutes, well that is my limit. I have already found that sometimes she will only cry for a minute or two and then she's happy playing for the next 15. This is supposed teach autonomy. I get it, if they are happy playing let them play, no need to overstimulate. Some of the stories she told about parents in NYC at the park are priceless.

She tells a story about a mother who is giving a play by play of their child's play, to the child, WHILE the child is physically acting out the movement. It went something like this, "Jeffery is sliding down the slide, Jeffery is swining, Jeffery is running!!!!" Are you kidding me? I bet that kid was like SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I know I'm running you idiot.
I could go on and on with examples of things I agree with and things I disagree with from this book but those are my opinions and what I found interesting is this book was NOT full of opinions. This was a legit research book that was entertaining and funny. It was jammed packed with real life experiences, research both old and new, and some opinions based on those real life experiences. On thing I did find interesting is Druckerman has the same slightly bitter taste in her mouth for the "What to Expect" books as I do. I know they are also meant to be informative, but they are mostly filled with worst case senarios that just scare the crap out of me. Maybe that is just what I took from the books, but at month seven I stopped reading "What to Expect the First Year." I don't need to read it, I'm living that shit. PS, telling your nine month old not to bite you and taking the boob away from them only pisses them off further.

I officially stopped actually nursing yesterday. I tried to "teach" Sadie Marie not to bite me but after I got bit three times just during our afternoon session.....well F that. It also makes so nervous each time I sit down to feed and let's be real, I don't need that shit. I'm going to continue to pump and perhaps nurse sometimes just in the morning,s but last night while I was giving her a bottle, she was knawing on that thing like it was a piece of beef jerky. NO THANK YOU. Bottles and sippy cups please.

Moving on.

Not only has my little nugget gotten her first tooth, but two months after she officially started crawling, she has decided she will actually use it. I'm not kidding when I say two months ago she started crawling and then she just decided she was not going to and stopped. Now she has taken off! I took several videos of her yesterday so I could show the baby daddy when he got home late last night and of course I posted them to Facebook for all to see. It's just so funny that she has got such a mind of her own, I wonder where she got it from!?!

Now that Sadie Marie is officially mobile, I gotta get this house baby proofed, ASAP. Just thinking about this reminds me of the movie Baby Mama where Tina Fey's character baby proofs her house complete with a toilet lock. I'm thinking about implementing one of these to see if the baby daddy can unlock it or if he will just pee in in the tub......I also have no doubt Sadie Marie will try to flush herself down the toilet so I better get on that.

We have a busy weekend and week ahead......This weekend we have to take her nine month photos, she goes for her nine month check up today, PARENTS NIGHT OUT tomorrow, chruch on Sunday, the baby daddy leaves for the week on Monday, and then Cici and Gigi come to town! I'm so excited for my Cunnie and Lib to get here I can barely stand it. I think this is the longest my mom has ever been without seeing Sadie Marie.

I'm anxious to see if any of the French parenting skills I plan to use actually work on my little headstrong American. Many of these parenting skills are going to be a matter of circumstance more than my abilty to inforce them. This is even pointed out by the author that it was most like easier for her to enforce these things she leared from the French because she was in France where everyone else was doing the same thing. Nonetheless, the more she moves and talks I'm sure it's only going to get more interesting so I will keep y'all posted.

Have a good weekend!

April

Hello from TEXAS!

So for those of you who don't know, I have been out of town at a conference since Sunday, which means the baby daddy has been home alone.....with Sadie Marie......for 5 days. AHHHHHHHHHH. I know what you are all thinking, WTF April WTF. Keep in mind I had this trip scheduled before Sadie Marie was even born so it's not like I sprung it on him last week. So in my preparations to get him ready to care for our daughter all alone, I made a schedule for him to follow which started out like this:

Morning Routine: When she wakes up, change her diaper.

I know, I know right, I'm treating my poor husband like he's retarded but honestly I know him and if I don't write it down it will be my fault if it does not get done and trust me, this first line was necessary.

So on went my schedule of explaining what I do everyday as I get her ready for daycare, or what to do on the only day he actually had to keep her all day, and what to do when he got home with her in the evenings. Typing all this out for him and writing it here now kinda makes it sound like he has no idea how to care for Sadie Marie, which couldn't be further from the truth, but again in an attempt to have things done my way while I was gone, I wrote everything in painstaking detail and here's how much good it did.

First let me set the scene for you: I'm in my hotel room and my co-worker is in my room waiting with me to leave for our last session yesterday.......She hears this entire conversation and is cracking up by the time we are done.

Here's our conversation:

Me: What are you doing, where are you?

Him: I'm going to Babies R Us.

Me: WHY? Where is Sadie Marie?

Him: She's in the car with me, she's sleeping. I'm going to get level three nipples for our bottles. We have needed them for a while now. I have to go to Babies R Us because Target no longer carries Born Free bottles or nipples, Wal-Mart does not have them and when I first called Babies R Us, they told me they were out, but then they found them so was going home, but I turned around. I wasted like 15 mintues doing that.

Me: Oh sweet baby Jesus. What brought on this decision?

Him: Well, she has been annoyed with the bottles and gets tired of sucking and so Susan (our sitter) suggested we move her up to level three.

Me: Oh OK, so here's why you didn't need to go today. Number 1: it's not that serious. I'm still breastfeeding and the level of milk flow does not change there. She's just lazy and it could have waited until this weekend. Number two: you have to sterilze those before you can use them. Number three: You may have created a monster for yourself tonight if she's going to get a good hour of sleep at 7 PM and her bedtime is 8. Number four: this was NOT in the schedule.

Him: Oh I know I have to sterilize them....so how do I do that?

Me:.......SHIV.

So, as you can see it did me a lot of good to type, color coat, and go to Kinkos to print a 4 page schedule for him to follow.

Luckily for him, Sadie Marie is apparently much kinder than her mother because she still went to sleep for him with no crying last night. Evil child, she is making it so easy for him he actually asked me what I thought was so hard.......I think he might actually be considering adding a second baby to the mix after these EASY five days he has had.

For those of you who did not see the picture, above is my child at day care. She has a cheerio on her forehead. AWESOME. If her cheeks get any fatter we are going to have to build her a new door so she can fit through. I swear she has to have about 50 cheerios stuffed in there and can we also talk about her little fat fingers for just a minute. They look like vienna sausages. I LOVE it. I cannot wait to use THIS picture when she starts dating, which will be when she turns 21. Maybe longer if the baby daddy has any say.

So while I have been away I have been pumping my brains out in an attempt to continue my mission to breastfeed feed for a year and all I can say is WTF. I have been getting more pumped out while in TX a good 1500 miles from my child than I do when I'm home and she's two miles up the street at daycare. I took everything I had to pour all this milk out while I have been there and I went back and forth on whether to ship it home or not but decided that since I had a big enough stock pile at home to feed a small tribe of children for a year I should just get over it and save myself the trouble and pour it out. I'm sure all the cleaning ladies are like WTF is all this shit and why has this lady been washing bottles in her hotel room sink with her shampoo?

I mean are you kidding me, the stuff below was from a 5 minute pumping session at 4 PM yesterday when I usually only get about 3 ounces by that time of the afternoon. SEVEN ounces. SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me. I should be selling this stuff, although this batch is probably riddled with alcohol. One good thing about the NAACO conference, they assure you have plenty of booze each night to get you through these neverending days of educational event planning sessions.

Y'all like my little set up, my drying rack is freaking wash cloth. I clearly did not think this through and yep that's my brush hanging out on my drying rack. I guess it's a good thing I didn't want to ship this home. WTF.

So as I get ready for my final day of constant pumping, I'm kinda nervous to go home and have to start feeding Sadie Marie again. She's going to be like, "Are you kidding me? Where is that plastic nipple that squirts this shit down my throat so fast I almost choke. Stupid level three nipples. I told the baby daddy if he made this harder for me I was going to KEEL him. His heart was in the right place but SHIV.

So I must depart for now, I have a little more conference jazz left in me for today with our final educational session and the closing and then we have the rest of the day off. I think I will walk around the UT campus, which is directly across the street from my hotel, in my Alabama National Championship shirt from 2009 and see if I can get some reaction from the UT kiddos. I was almost stoned to death last night at the bar, but then we had some good banter about what a sissy Colt McCoy was, so I think they are still scarred. We shall see!

Love y'all!

Sadie Marie is EIGHT Months Old!

April

Wedding/Christmas Extravaganza

Well Hello! So it's been a while, I was in Alabama for three, yes, THREE, full weeks and even though I had serious parental supervision, it was hard to sit still long enough to write any blog updates. So here's a Christmas and New Years Re-Cap for those of you who I didn't see over the new year.

Picture this.......JuJu, Sadie Marie, Me.......Baltimore Thurgood Airport, Baltimore, Maryland. Two suitcases, three carry-ons, a cooler, two purses, diaper bag, stroller, and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, not really, you can't transport trees on planes. I have done this before, by myself, and I must admit traveling with a companion is the shiv when there is a baby involved. It's always easier with two sets of hands. Sweet Auntie JuJu, of course volunteered to fly down to the SEL with us and help out along the way. We are in no rush, we get there in plenty of time to spare, but there's always a little (OK a lot) of anxiety when traveling with a six and a half month old. We actually breeze through security and make our way over to the food court for dinner, we choose the Silver Diner, and have plenty of time to make our 720 flight. Sadie Marie has been sitting in a high chair for a few weeks and of course being the pyschotic first time parent I still hose them down before she sits in them, if I don't have my cover, which I don't because from the list above you would NEVER think I'm traveling light.

Anyway, Sadie Marie is a freaking pro, she eats her dinner, we eat, and she plays. Awesome job kid. You need to start a "How to Travel" course for babies and teach it online. They let us board the plane first and we nab some seats in the second row, since you can sit anywhere you want on Southwest Flights, and we depart on time. Shit, I can't believe this is going so good. I'm a pretty good flyer, but of course with all these things going our way, I wonder if the landing gear is going to stick and screw up our good luck. JuJu has said many times over she's jinxed when it comes to flying----delays, lost luggage, cancelled flights, etc. So I'm just wondering if I can expect to make this trip unscathed.

The flight goes good, Sadie Marie nurses on take off and thus goes to sleep for most of the flight. Then JuJu plays with her while we land. I was worried about her ears popping since she was awake and mine were killing me so I was waiting for a meltdown, but none came. She was happy as a clam. Awesome.

We land, luggage arrives, and mom and dad are waiting. Easy, Peasy, One, two, threesy. We get to the SEL and start our fun filled three week escursion in Alabama. Start it off with a bachelorette party for JuJu the next day.......I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. Thank you Toby Keith. I now FULLY understand what you mean. I'm 31 years old. I got 10 years on almost everyone I'm going out with and when we get to the bar it shows, but of course, mom mode kicks in before we leave and I threaten their lives.

Me: "I only have one rule, NO ONE goes off alone and if you leave you must tell me first!"
Them........looks of confusion.
Me: "Sigh" It's going to be a long night.......
Reagan: "Have fun" Snicker, Snicker.
Me: Let's go.

We hit the bar and first off, if I'm going to get my, just had a baby, but it was six months ago and it's no longer really an excuse, ass on the dance floor with said 20 year olds I need drinks, lots of drinks. So while we await the band to play I try to start pounds some red bull and vodka, but it appears tolerance is not something you necessarily earn, but are born with, so I tell all my pals to go and have fun, I will watch our stuff. Of course I'm worried about purses getting stolen. I'm 31 and have a child but what I'm secretly worried about is my seat getting taken and I won't have anywhere to sit my old ass when I pull a muscle.

Fast Forward 4 hours we go to an actual dance club where I can no longer walk, but not because I'm drunk more like BOTH myankles have decided to roll everytime I take a step which makes me look like I'm having a seizuere in my platform shoes. I, in what is clearly my best decision making state, decide they are more hazardous to my health than going barefoot in a bar. Awesome. I gather the troops and we depart, only to decide that the bachelorette and her sister want to hit up a late night bar across town. Well, of course I can't let them go alone, so the other girls head back to the hotel and off we go in a cab. We get to the bar, I immediately fall asleep on a table and an hour later I woke.

WTF.......I grabbed JuJu and told her to get Leah we were leaving. At 5 AM we roll into the hotel and I had never been happier, except I remember I had to pump our some toxic alcoholic breastmilk before going to bed.......oh well, by the time I got upstairs I completely forgot that and grabbed a piece of pizza. Ah, the pizza.......I guess I ate half, passed out, woke up about an hour later on top of said piece of pizza, went back to sleep to find the slice on the arm of the pullout couch staring me in the face with several more bites missing. When I finally woke for the morning, it was no where to be found. Awesome. I felt like a dirty college frat boy when I woke up and realized I had CLEARY eaten that piece of pizza.

Anyway, I survived and went on to get everyone out of there with the room in tact before 11 AM. I had to get back to my little nugget! Hands down a great night, that I hope to NEVER repeat!

On to the wedding! Whew, was that a crazy day. The Doss clan knows how to throw a party. We started out with a brunch in Marion and what could very easily be one of the most fabulous houses I have ever been in. Decorated to a tee, it screamed the simple elegance of a civil war era mansion. I mean the bathroom was bigger than my bedroom. The casseroles were to die for and of course it was my little brother's wedding day. Makes me tear up just thinking about it. I got to see JuJu, then after she left to go get beautiful, John Rob and his crew came in. Sadie M was taking it all in and of course she was prepping for her big moment as one of the two cutest flower girls EVER. Fast forward to 5 PM, after we get pictures taken and get the wagon situation down, the wedding starts. Royce and I decided our rehearsal up high and down low high five would not be a good idea as we crossed paths and once in place I see my little nugget coming down the aisle in her tutu and I almost tear up again. Of course the first time was when John Rob walked out to await his bride, but I held it together. Luckily, Jordan made me fabulous with a quick hair makeover so I wanted to hold it together for photos! It was tough, it always is. I always end up thinking about my wedding and the vows make me remember saying them to him over eight years ago and it makes me feel blessed for every day good and bad we have had. I know right, who knew I could be so sentimental.

Well, we got them two married off and we went to a reception fit for the pages of Modern Bride. We had muscadime whine, the kegs were flowing, the cupcakes were fabulous, and everyone had a blast. It was a great evening and I am so happy that JuJu is now my sister and tied to our family forever!

Moving on from the sappy stuff. Christmas was also a day of firsts for our new little addition. She LOVED it. I mean the kid is a pro at opening presents. I should have just given her empty boxes because once she got all the paper off she could have cared less what was in there. Of course, it's always like that the first year, but luckily she had cousin Elsie to show her the ropes. Sadie Marie was memerized by Elsie. She knows she an older kid, but I swear it's like she knows there is more of a connection there than just a buddy. They played, Elsie snatched some toys in true toddler fashion, and then entertained us the rest of the day! I swear she must have snatched some five hour energy! She was sooooo funny!

We relaxed the next week, watched Twilight, I got to spend a fabulous night with Aunt Angie and Elsie and then New Year's finally came around. Cunnie watched Sadie M while I picked the baby daddy up from the airport and went to Reagan's to take her and Matt to their first movie. After seeing Sherlock Holmes with her, I now know why that was their FIRST movie ever. Of course it's never a good idea to ask Reagan or myself to try to sit still for two hours, but it's a BAD idea to ask us to do it next to each other. After about an hour and a half I looked over and the baby daddy was asleep. Sheesh. So of course, Reagan and I start making fun of the movie........we tried to watch. WE FAILED.

Next we were off to the hibatchi place where they make you catch food in your mouth and it was fantastic. We then proceeded to go to Reagan's pad and watch the ball drop. We decided we needed to play a game to pass some time until midnight so she pulls out some dominos. Of course I know how to play, grandmama taught us, I just need to remember.......we get out the rules. Well, I guess there are about 100 ways to play dominos rather than just putting the matching ends together like I thought. I guess I was about nine the last time I played........So, after an hour of trying to figure the rules out, we starting playing and then kinda just made shit up as we went along. Then it's time for the ball to drop, at 11:54 p.m. we turn the TV over to Ryan Seacrest talking about New Year's Even in NYC and I go on telling them about how we spent NYE in NYC just two years ago but it feels like a lifetime ago, blah, blah, blah and the a commercial break......we continue our domino game and I realize its 12:03 AM...WTF Ryan Seacrest, you missed it douche bag. We start staring at the TV and realize that Times Square behind Ryan is empty, they are cleaning up. We missed it? I'm a retard. I freaking live in the Eastern Timezone, I should have knows those assholes would drop the ball at 12 midnight EST and expect those on CST to watch it at 11 PM. I thougth they replayed it, guess not. Sorry, CST, nobody cares. So CLEARLY, we were disappointed, but we had a good NYE nonetheless.

As you can all see, my holiday was FANTASTIC! The only downside was I missed quite a few holiday parties in VA while I was gone. BUMMER, but I will be here next year! In any case, here are some photos of the nugget at 7 months.

Love y'all,

A

Black Friday Shananigans

So Thanksgiving and Black Friday have come and gone but in the spirit of trying to catch everyone up here's what we did. Mom came up for Thanksgiving and cooked us a meal that was fit for about 15 folks. We had five. JuJu bought the most delicious honeybaked ham on the face of the earth and of course the baby daddy wanted to get in on some of the Black Friday deals.

Earlier in the week I had been looking at the deals and saw a 42" TV for 199.00 I of course have been wanting a new flat screen TV for our upstairs room to mount over the fire place. We have a big one downstairs and it would free up a lot of space if we could get ride of the entertainment center we have now. So we decided we would try it, but didn't really mention it again until Thursday morning. We looked through all the adds and about 10 AM I could see it in his eyes, he was getting dressed and said he was gonna run by Best Buy and see if there was a line. If there was he would stay and if not he would come home and go back later.

Fast forward 6 hours. He has been in line since 10 AM and now wants me to come take the evening shift so he can come eat Thanksgiving dinner and watch the Cowboys play. How could I say no? He was sitting line for me basically and secretly I was elated......I would then get about four uninterrupted hours of reading my new obsession, Twilight. So I bundled up and set out into the madness.

When I arrived at Best Buy I was shocked to see tents, chairs, sleeping bags, and a line of crazy folks wrapped around the building.......I could not believe it. So I went towards the police line taped off area where the baby daddy was standing and went under the rope. I immediately encountered the line nazi.

Line Nazi: "Oh, Oh, you tha wife, Your cool."
Me: Yep
Line Nazi: "Can't be too careful, folks be trying to skip in line."
Me: "I will be on the look out, we are just trading spots for a while so he can go eat."
Line Nazi: "Oh I know, we discussed strategies and such."
Me: Oh....thinking to myself, what kind of freaking strategy is there? You wait in line, they give you a ticket, you pick up your shit. Idiot proof.

I sit down to gloriously engross myself in Twilight and an hour later.......

Line Nazi: "You see them kids down there?"
Me: "Yea"
Line Nazi: "There were seven earlier but I have seen two walk up, I'm going to run them off."
Me: "You go get em"........psycho.

An still an hour later......

Line Nazi: "You see them folks in front of the girls in front of you."
Me: "Uh, Yes"
Line Nazi: "Well, there were two of them at first, but the wife keeps leaving and coming back and then there were four of them all swapping and taking shifts but they are not gettin three tickets. I already handed out numbers."
Me: "Do your numbers count?"
Line Nazi: "We can at least tell the Best Buy folks who was in line."
Me: "Do they care."
Line Nazi: "?????"
Me:........
LN:.......

yes, it was very akward silence as she contemplated the fact that her handing out small green pieces of paper with numbers on them probably would not be honored when the Best Buy folks came to give out the real numbers. I get why she was a psychopath about it. They had 15 of the TV's to sell. She was number 15. I felt like I was on Black Friday Survivor and I knew I had to keep my alliance with her strong because if anyone was getting voted out of this line it was NOT going to be me. I nodded and agreed with everything this crazy bitch said.

I could not help but laugh everytime I saw her wonder down towards where these kids were, they were partying making a night of it, complete with a keg in the back of one of the cars. I wished I was them for a minute or had in the very least brought my own beer, decided it was cold, and went back to reading about Bella and Edward......then I thought about how old I was for about 15 minutes no caring that I didn't have any beer......and then went back to reading.

The baby daddy returned about 8:30 p.m. and relieved me from my post. I warned him she was only getting worse as the night progressed, so he sat down with his back to her in hopes she would forget he was there. Highly unlikely. I trudged home to feed Sadie Marie and at 10 p.m. when they handed out the tickets I was still engrossed in Twilight, he texted and he had the GOLDEN TICKET NUMBER 15 for the TV. I was estatic and then I thought, Shit. She may just go to her car and bring back an oozy. Later I got the full story.

When time came to get the actual numbers this crazy lady jumped in front of Theron and got number 14, his number. He said he almost cussed her out until he realized he also was going to get a ticket. All that talk about shit being fair because of her numbers and only those who had been in line the whole time should get tickets and then boom, she went straight ghetto on Theron and skipped at the last minute. She better be glad I was gone or we would have gone from Survivor to Kung Fu Fighting on her ass.

Moral of the story......Watch out for Line Nazi's they will stab your ass in the back in a heartbeat. She should seriously be on Big Brother.

Y'all be good,

April

Check out the new pictures on Facebook of Sadie Marie at her 6 month photo shoot.

Love y'all!