Well hello Bammers! RTR!!!!!!!!! Gah, Nick Saban is the shiv. He rocks the casbah and is two legit to quit. I actually stayed up last night to watch the entire game and I was glad I did. It's often hard watching another team get beat so bad......almost. The baby daddy and I stayed up and had a few cold ones during the game in which we had some interesting conversations.
Before the game, I opened the world of the cloud to my mom and Juju so I can share videos with them. They, inturn, sent a video back to us for Sadie Marie to watch. LAWD HAVE MERCY. Sadie Marie was FREAKING out watching the video, she made me play it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.........and over. GAH, she starting crying when I acted like I was not gonna play it again. It was pretty funny at first, but then after the 50th time I watched this video, I just gave her my phone and told her she could watch it all she wanted if she could get it to play. I'll be damned she found the play button and played it over and over and over and over and over, until she finally went to bed!
During halftime we were watching the halftime report and the Million Dollar Band was in the background performing and I was like:
Me: Huh, wonder why we can't hear the band.
Him: What are you talking about, we aren't there.
Me: No......they are right beside the band talking......why can't we hear them.
Him: Technology
Me: WHAT does that mean.
Him: Technology is the reason, those microphones cancel out all backgroud noise.
Me: Oh, wow those are good. The band is loud.
Him: Yea, technology. DUH.
Me: SMH. I will punch you in the face.
Him: You can't reach that far munchkin.
Me: True.
We went back to watching the half time report and I was secretly awed by these noise canceling microphones. I need one of those at work, when I wear my headset mic during phone calls or in meetings they pick up background noise better than they do my voice.
During this game, I saw a commercial for the Buick Enclave.........in which the car was started remotely as the dude was landing in a commercial AIRPLANE. I have several problems with this but I only need to list one:
1. Remote starts don't reach that far. The car doesn't stay on long enough for you to get your baggage and ride the bus to the economy lot, which PS is where this family was parked. It's also probably against airplane/secret service/technology to send a laser to your car from the sky.
Anyway, I thought that was funny.
So, I accepted a challenge with a girl I work with to see who could lose 10 lbs the fastest and GAH I'm loosing. I gained 2 lbs over the weekend and she's down 4 lbs. I seriously am going to have to go on a fast. I run 4 miles every day and clearly I just need to stop eating in order to lose weight. I'm going back to the fat doctor ASAP so I can achieve said goal of not eating! I'm fixing to take the special K challenge. Shit, would wouldn't lose weight if they only ate two bowls of cereal a day. Me.....probably me. I'm going to buy some Special K this afternoon. I think it will work if I just eat cuties in between meals. I'm obcessed with cuties.
Last night I had a dream that all of my friends from high school and college hated me. Like legit, eighth grade style shunned me at a football game. Theron was there and thought it was funny, but I proceeded to cat call at them and make them cry. WTH. We seriously were at a football game, we all had kids and were adults, but I couldn't figure out why they hated me. I never found out because I woke up at 650 AM with only a tiny hangover after last nights festivities. GAH. I hate it when dreams end all unresolved. I wish I knew why they were mad, it was like a high school mad too. Like I didn't keep a secret about all of them. I do remember kicking one of my friends in the butt. Who does that. Me, apparently, in my dreams.
Anyway, if you have not already heard the good news. I totally got promoted. It's the shiv. I'm super excited about everything that this promotion means. 2013 is gonna be awesome, like so awesome that FUN. is gonna have to write a song about it being so fun. Y'all stay tuned, we sold our house and we are getting ready to move in the coming weeks HOPEFULLY, if they ever approve this thing and I can only imagine what adventures that will bring. Hopefully a saner, skinnier April, but we shall see!
Y'all be good!
April
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Deep Thoughts from 2012
Whew, 2012 has come and gone and I know wiser inthe ways of the world this January. I hope everyone can say that but alas, I KNOW some folks who never seem to learn from the lessons life teaches you. THANK GOODNESS I have made my 2013 resolution to stop worrying about those folks who don't want to learn as we grow and change as we learn. I simply cannot worry myself with those I cannot change, I can only try to teach them lessons and hope they learn from them. SO! Now that you know my first resolution, here's my second of two......lose 30 lbs. I would like to think it's the rest of the baby weight from 2011 but let's be honest after a year, you should stop calling it baby weight and just admit your fat. Which I am, but not for long.
I'm in a secret competition with a girl I work with to at LEAST keep up with her in weigthloss. Lawd, girl has 4 kids and she has more energy than anyone I know and she makes me want to lose weight. For one, I can't let her lose more than me, even if the battle is a secret and I can consistently run 4 miles everyday and since I already have the workout down, I just need to get my eating under control......MUCH easier said than done. Running makes you hungry.
Anyway, I learned some other stuff in 2012 but who really cares. Y'all want to know about what happened in 2012 right, because some funny and exciting stuff really did happen:
1. We SOLD our house. That's right we did it, we put this puppy on the market and SOLD it. But we did a short sale so five months later we are still in our house. Who knows if this sale will EVER get approved. I think they send short sales to Hell and they just sit on the Devil's desk for 5 months and then someone (possibly my realtor) thinks about it for a minute and sends pony express to check on it and then maybe I'll get an update in month 6. For real, it has not been an awesome experience. My realtor sent me an email that had three words in it: "True Patty Home".....here's the conversation:
Me: Please explain what True Patty home means. I don't have time to decipher this shit. (because this has happened before and I think you are stupid and you suck as a realtor but I've been trying to be nice and more professional than you)
Realtor: April, I don't know what this means.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING. You sent me this email. You are unprofessional and if you send me another email like this I'm going to report you to the realtor gods and have your license revoked.
Realtor: My email was hacked. Don't respond to this email account anymore.
Me: LIAR. I have a Master's degree in Public Administration and a PHD in dealing with idiots, you are lying. You responded from your smartphone and autospell screwed you over. You're an idiot for not reading the message before you sent it AND.....AND I have told you this before.......YOU'RE FIRED.
Well, most of this conversation really did occur except for the you're fired part because you can't fire your realtor AFTER you sign a stupid contract with them. Did I mention she has sent cryptic messages before. She sent me an email and I have waited more than a week to respond to her. GAH. Why are people dumb.
2. Sadie Marie is DEFINITELY my child. Lawd she is me made over and it really set in how hard my parents must have had it when my mom said, dang I have not seen a fit like that in 32 years. BOOM. Life full circle. The threw a fit in El Ranchero two weeks ago that literally made the lady sitting behind us ask me if she was OK after she banged her head on the wood behind her. Awesome. Mind you she did not cry after said head banging, she merely looked at me and continued to throw herself around like a rag doll IN the booth at El Ranchero. Yep, she mine. She has also kinda started twirling her hair and anyone who knows me, knows that a STAPLE in my life.
3. Lots of people suck. They suck it so hard they should be all shriveled up, but alas they continue to live. If you make a resolution in 2013, let it be that you are a person of your word. Nothing is more spineless than going back on your word. Also, be a good neighbor. Help others who need it, you never know when you are going to the one in need and you will only be treated as good as you have treated others.
4. I miss living in Selma. That's right, I've said it. There's lots to be said about that little town, but I do know one thing, I miss it. I miss the lack of traffic, I miss being able to be anywhere in 5 minutes, I even miss the Wal-mart there. Even the doctors are better. The doctors here are ridiculous and sometimes you just need a good Southern remedy but what I miss the most are my friends and family.
So I learned more stuff than this, but it's not very interesting and I can't remember any of it right now. Yes, I'm sure I learned it.
We are now in 2013 and jeez, it seems like just yesterday we had Sadie Marie's first birthday and now I have to start planning for birthday number two. GAH. In 5 short months the nugget will be two years old and sweet baby Jesus if the terrible twos are still to come, we gotta make up a name for 12-24 months. How about the War of the Ones.........because I often have to pick my battles. Between the West fits and bitch slaps, if my sweet child gives me one more pinch hickey on my neck, I'm going to have to start wearing turtle necks 24/7. Sadie Marie pinches me when I hold her, she pinches me when I change her diaper, she pinches me ALLLLL the time. She also likes to slap me square in the face sometimes. Maybe it's her way of showing love. My sweet little cousin rubs your ear when she's tired, Sadie Marie pinches. At least she's not biting yet. My sweet little cousin does that too.
Wondering what a West fit is???? Well apparently the Morton/Lauderback/West side of our family is pretty strong willed and my daddy calls the fits Sadie Marie throws a West fit. He also calls her Mutt, after my Uncle Mutt who wore a 24/7 scowl OR Lady Kent who was clearly not a pretty lady in her forever frown. It's funny, but lawd, I hope as we learn to use more and more words in 2013 that Sadie Marie will learn to TELL us what she wants as opposed to SCREAMING about it. :)
We had a fantastic Christmas in the SEL and here are some photos from our adventures.
I'm pretty excited for 2013, we survived the end of the Mayan calendar (lawd, I know some doomsday preppers are pissed), and we are all healthy and happy.What more can you ask for?
Love y'all!!
April
I'm in a secret competition with a girl I work with to at LEAST keep up with her in weigthloss. Lawd, girl has 4 kids and she has more energy than anyone I know and she makes me want to lose weight. For one, I can't let her lose more than me, even if the battle is a secret and I can consistently run 4 miles everyday and since I already have the workout down, I just need to get my eating under control......MUCH easier said than done. Running makes you hungry.
Anyway, I learned some other stuff in 2012 but who really cares. Y'all want to know about what happened in 2012 right, because some funny and exciting stuff really did happen:
1. We SOLD our house. That's right we did it, we put this puppy on the market and SOLD it. But we did a short sale so five months later we are still in our house. Who knows if this sale will EVER get approved. I think they send short sales to Hell and they just sit on the Devil's desk for 5 months and then someone (possibly my realtor) thinks about it for a minute and sends pony express to check on it and then maybe I'll get an update in month 6. For real, it has not been an awesome experience. My realtor sent me an email that had three words in it: "True Patty Home".....here's the conversation:
Me: Please explain what True Patty home means. I don't have time to decipher this shit. (because this has happened before and I think you are stupid and you suck as a realtor but I've been trying to be nice and more professional than you)
Realtor: April, I don't know what this means.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING. You sent me this email. You are unprofessional and if you send me another email like this I'm going to report you to the realtor gods and have your license revoked.
Realtor: My email was hacked. Don't respond to this email account anymore.
Me: LIAR. I have a Master's degree in Public Administration and a PHD in dealing with idiots, you are lying. You responded from your smartphone and autospell screwed you over. You're an idiot for not reading the message before you sent it AND.....AND I have told you this before.......YOU'RE FIRED.
Well, most of this conversation really did occur except for the you're fired part because you can't fire your realtor AFTER you sign a stupid contract with them. Did I mention she has sent cryptic messages before. She sent me an email and I have waited more than a week to respond to her. GAH. Why are people dumb.
2. Sadie Marie is DEFINITELY my child. Lawd she is me made over and it really set in how hard my parents must have had it when my mom said, dang I have not seen a fit like that in 32 years. BOOM. Life full circle. The threw a fit in El Ranchero two weeks ago that literally made the lady sitting behind us ask me if she was OK after she banged her head on the wood behind her. Awesome. Mind you she did not cry after said head banging, she merely looked at me and continued to throw herself around like a rag doll IN the booth at El Ranchero. Yep, she mine. She has also kinda started twirling her hair and anyone who knows me, knows that a STAPLE in my life.
3. Lots of people suck. They suck it so hard they should be all shriveled up, but alas they continue to live. If you make a resolution in 2013, let it be that you are a person of your word. Nothing is more spineless than going back on your word. Also, be a good neighbor. Help others who need it, you never know when you are going to the one in need and you will only be treated as good as you have treated others.
4. I miss living in Selma. That's right, I've said it. There's lots to be said about that little town, but I do know one thing, I miss it. I miss the lack of traffic, I miss being able to be anywhere in 5 minutes, I even miss the Wal-mart there. Even the doctors are better. The doctors here are ridiculous and sometimes you just need a good Southern remedy but what I miss the most are my friends and family.
So I learned more stuff than this, but it's not very interesting and I can't remember any of it right now. Yes, I'm sure I learned it.
We are now in 2013 and jeez, it seems like just yesterday we had Sadie Marie's first birthday and now I have to start planning for birthday number two. GAH. In 5 short months the nugget will be two years old and sweet baby Jesus if the terrible twos are still to come, we gotta make up a name for 12-24 months. How about the War of the Ones.........because I often have to pick my battles. Between the West fits and bitch slaps, if my sweet child gives me one more pinch hickey on my neck, I'm going to have to start wearing turtle necks 24/7. Sadie Marie pinches me when I hold her, she pinches me when I change her diaper, she pinches me ALLLLL the time. She also likes to slap me square in the face sometimes. Maybe it's her way of showing love. My sweet little cousin rubs your ear when she's tired, Sadie Marie pinches. At least she's not biting yet. My sweet little cousin does that too.
Wondering what a West fit is???? Well apparently the Morton/Lauderback/West side of our family is pretty strong willed and my daddy calls the fits Sadie Marie throws a West fit. He also calls her Mutt, after my Uncle Mutt who wore a 24/7 scowl OR Lady Kent who was clearly not a pretty lady in her forever frown. It's funny, but lawd, I hope as we learn to use more and more words in 2013 that Sadie Marie will learn to TELL us what she wants as opposed to SCREAMING about it. :)
We had a fantastic Christmas in the SEL and here are some photos from our adventures.
This my Mamaw, 4 Generations on my Daddy's side.
Her Auntie Angie bought the cutest light up noses!!
These sweet babies and their awesome Dads.
Her first Christmas parade in Wetumpka, AL.
2012 Christmas Eve family portrait.
This was taken earlier for our Christmas Cards
She was chilling with her Big Daddy, she LOVE him.
Sweet cousins, so glad we got to catch up!
If there was one fight over this bicycle, there were 50. Again life full circle. Angie and I used to fight over toys. There was wrestling, hair pulling, but luckily no crying this year. Next year will be even more fun!!
Love y'all!!
April
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