So my fabulous husband let me stay in SEL for the next three weeks......in all fairness his job demands that he travel and even though he's the boss, he's had two months off the travel schedule to tend to a very demanding pregnant wife and newborn so it was time we return to reality. He left yesterday going back to VA to the real world while I stay in Selma and live in slight state of lala land with my mommy and daddy or should I say Big Daddy and Cici. I have to admit I sometimes get tired of being in Selma, there is nothing like being babied by your mom, especially when you have a new baby!
There are some things I never get tired of in the SEL, for instance I know that on any given day I'm going to see something that makes me go WTF......see below.
I mean WTF.....that is a lot of bicycles dude, either this guy has 50 kids or he's planning on supplying the tour du France riders. I'm thinking neither.......the only thing that comes to my mind is HOARDER. Maybe we should call A & E and see if we can get him on the Hoarding: Buried Alive. I would hate to see what his house looks like. Lets not forget to comment on the awesomeness of the truck carrying 5000 bicycles.
Anyway, I have made more trips to Prattville and Montgomery since I got home than anyone should and luckily I know how to get to Montgomery. My grandmother told me a story today about a lady, who was from Selma, taking her kid to the doctor in Montgomery. The lady left work and about 8 hours later came back......they asked her where she was.....she said she looked up and was in Mobile.....really you were born and raised in Selma and you can't get to Montgomery. I have no comment here, you are a fidot and trust me when Grandma Lib telling the story I was cackling.
On to our trips, Wednesday we went to Bass Pro Shops. The baby daddy has decided he and Sadie Marie will fish. I told her he can only use her as bait right now so we should probably wait until she's two or so to give her something with a sharp hook on the end if he valued his eyes. I can see it now, I send them in one piece and he brings her back with hook marks all over both of them! We did pick Sadie Marie up a shirt from Bass Pro that reads "My first fishing shirt". Just in case everyone in VA was not aware of our redneck status, now there will be no question. I even decided she had some cute shorts that could be worn with said shirt. On this trip I decided I wanted to use my travel bottle warmer. Yeah that was a good idea......milk can be warmed up in like 20 seconds in the sink, the warmer takes 5 minutes. Five minutes feels like 60 when you have a screaming infant. Lesson learned, heat that shit up before she gets hungry. So then we got the stroller out and had a pretty good time in Bass Pro, she only screamed a little bit and every stranger I passed kept saying, Oh someones not happy....thanks douche bags I can hear her screaming too. I wanted to say if you were squished in a car seat would you be happy, but I kept my mouth shut. People have no boundaries when it comes to babies and they clearly think the mom needs to hear their opinion. Here's a little advice strangers, I don't give a shit what you think about my baby screaming. You want my opinion about how ugly you kid is? Didn't think so. :)
So then on Thursday, the baby daddy had to be taken to the airport at 4 AM. Whatever, I was just glad to be staying here while he travels. I left Sadie Marie here with my mom, put on some work out clothes and made the drive to Montgomery. I'm lucky I made it back alive, I was almost asleep by the time we got to MGM and do not remember the drive back to SEL. I have no idea why I thought a workout at 530 AM was a good idea, I got my ass back in the bed and slept for an hour.
On Thursday I made the drive to MGM twice. That's right, as soon as I got back from taking him to the airport, I slept an hour and made the drive again, but this time with Sadie Marie, Cunnie, and Lib all in tow. We had to take Lib (aka my hilarious grandmama) to the doctor. We are on our way to MGM, mom asked her if she knew how to get there she said yes, but then proceeded to tell us the story about the lady and her Mobile trip so.......Cunnie was having one of her daily check ins with Aunt Peggy and asked her how to get to the doctor anyway and Lib's clearly annoyed response while Cunnie was still on the phone: "I KNOW how to get there". Silence.........I have no doubt she knows how to get there, but telling us could be a different story and I did not want to end up in Mobile. :) We made it to the doctor, I fed and changed Sadie Marie in the car while the Kilgore clan went inside. I swear it's always a hoot when I hang with these ladies. Here's how the rest of my day went:
Cunnie: She has to come back at 11 to see the doctor. It's 1015 we are going to Peggy's house.
Me: OK, they are just going to have to turn around and come right back.
Cunnie: I know
We get to Aunt Peggy's at 1037, 8 minutes later they all get back in the car at go back to see the doc.
Me: Phew, a few minutes of silence. NAP time. Thank goodness.
They all pile back in around 1230 and then Cunnie and Peggy go get lunch. Guthrie's please. Thank you. I love some Guthries!
Lib: "Just get me what you get."
The food gets back and Lib says: "Goodness you got me such a large salad" They didn't have Lib size salads at Guthries, it's one size fits all Elizabeth.
Lib then proceeds to throw away all the leftovers.........commenting on how Cunnie ate all hers like she had not eaten in a week. HAHAHAHA, I'm just glad she didn't comment on me. I inhaled mine, I think I get a pass because I just had the baby.
Cunnie and Peggy leave to go run errands.
Me: Phew another stretch of silence. NAP time. Thank goodness.
Cunnie and Peggy return. Cunnie returns with the Miracle Blanket a friend told me about. WHOOP WHOOP, hoping for a good nights sleep!
We headed over to Prattville to see Aunt Angie and give her the wine we picked up for her. We passed her as she was heading out to run an errand so we met her in a parking lot to make the "exchange" and we were making jokes about how it looked like we were making a drug deal and sure enough a freaking cop rolled right up and parked. Really? Luckily we have come a long way since the days of the stealth and this exchange was legit. We handed off the goods, Angie got a little face time with Sadie Marie, and we headed back to SEL. We returned about 6 PM just in time to feed Sadie Marie. Phew, crisis averted. The milk monster rules the house and when she gets hungry she means business!
Auntie Ju Ju bought her this outfit and she looked SO cute in it!! She does not look like the milk monster she is here. :)
The rest of the night was uneventful, I did use that miracle blanket and Sadie Marie only woke up one time last night! I got 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and then three more! I can barely believe it. I'm hoping this is not a fluke we shall see tonight.
I think my baby is already growing up. She is currently asleep in the swing she absolutely loathes, I put her in it awake and it has rocked her to sleep. Amazing. So this is how these "swings" work. Usually we have to remove her from the swing because she's crying so violently. I'm hoping this is no fluke either. We currently hold her about 95% of the time. I would love to be able to pee without a screaming baby laying in her pack and play! Yay for swings! Yay for being in SEL!
Y'all have a good day
Love y'all,
April
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